​GHOST OF HOUDINI ESCAPES FROM HELL:
​SAYS AFTERLIFE IS A HOAX!

Séance attendees were shocked when the apparition of famed magician and escape artist Harry Houdini appeared above them in the darkened room last Thursday.
 
“I believe in ghosts, so it didn’t surprise me one bit,” said spiritual medium Joyce Vandersplits who led the séance. “But apparently, Mr. Houdini does not share my belief.”
 
The ghostly apparition, dressed in turn of the century clothes, draped in locks and chains, and smelling of sulfur and brimstone, indentified himself as “the late, great Houdini” and proceeded to call the attendees fools and accused the medium of being a charlatan.
 
“There’s no heaven, no hell, no life after death, and no such thing as ghosts,” Houdini’s spectral manifestation insisted. “I worked hard in life to debunk these fabrications and I will continue to do so in death.”
 
Born in 1874 in Budapest, Hungary as Erich Weiss, the performer quickly became known as an escapist for his ability to free himself from handcuffs, straightjackets, locked trunks, and the particularly cramped backseat of a Toyota Tercel.
 
“Now if you’ll excuse me,” the famous phantom figure said with a polite bow, “I have an eleven o’clock performance in the underworld to perform.”
 
Guardians of the eternal hellfires of hades said that they had no comment on the famous magician’s escape from their infernal realm other than to say that Houdini has been something of a problem since he arrived.